I’ve lived completely by myself before. It wasn’t very long, but it was a few years. I enjoyed having the advantage that, when you’re single, you can be “single-minded” or “focused” on what the Lord has for YOU (1 Corinthians 7:34). However, some days were easier than others. If you are single during this pandemic, I just want you to know you’re not alone. This is a strange time for everyone — especially if you’re single.
A mentor of mine told me that my strength as a single person was my available time. That person encouraged me to stay busy. I poured myself into volunteer work, my job, and my church. I am so glad I received that kind of advice. I learned new skills like blogging, graphic design, video editing, along with building deep friendships. This is a great principle to live by when you’re single for two reasons: it’s easy to get self focussed and you have less accountability when you live on your own. So stay busy!
What happens when the world literally just stops? How do you use your singleness as a strength, not something to drown in. This global crisis has created distance between everyone — Families, friends, church bodies. Those who are married are realizing how alone they really are even with a full house. Family members are not able to see aging parents. If you are single you are probably feeling more alone than you ever have before. Because of this global crisis, loneliness is just being magnified.
My sister is living on her own. As soon as her school shut down, she texted the family telling us to pray for everyone who is alone like she is. I asked her what she would like to tell someone if they are feeling the same way. Here are a few things we jotted down together for you if you’re feeling alone:
- REACH OUT — Sometimes you need to be the first one to reach out and share your experience. When no one is reaching out to see how you are doing, it is easy to assume that no one cares. That is so far from the truth.
- BE HONEST — Tell someone – even if it is one person – that you are lonely and scared. Those in your life probably have no idea that you are having a hard time during this crisis unless you tell them what you’re experiencing. Get on that zoom app and call up a few friends.
- GET CREATIVE — It’s important to remember that you’re not the only one who is experiencing loneliness. I remember when my grandpa passed away and my grandma and I were the only ones in the family who were living completely on our own. We bonded over being alone. We would send each other letters and it made our phone calls sweeter. Get creative during this pandemic. Maybe you need to send some encouraging snail mail to those in your friend group.
- AVOID — avoid the places that might illuminate the loneliness in your life. This might be skipping the temptation to watch romantic movies. Spend less time on social media, because seeing everyone with their families might bring more pain than entertainment.
- STAY BUSY — Being busy is good for any single. Again, time is your strength right now. During this pandemic it might look differently. This might look like learning a new skill, taking an extra online course, tapping into your crafty or creative side… The possibilities are endless.
- GET INTO GOD’S WORD — I can’t say this enough, that’s why I wanted to put this at the end of the list. God’s word is so powerful. He doesn’t want you to feel alone, that’s why we have the Holy Spirit. You can be busy as much as you want, but still feel that achy alone feeling. If you really spend time journaling, reading, studying God’s word, I promise your loneliness will fade. Here’s why: God has a plan for your life and He desires for you to focus completely on the things of God, not the things of the world. Going back to 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says it is an advantage to be single because you are not divided on what to focus on. Spending time in God’s word will give you focus, purpose, and an identity in your singleness.
Singleness is hard. That’s why in Genesis 2:18, God said that it is not good for Adam to be alone. Being single is not easy, but it is a gift and a strength — even during a pandemic. Learn a new skill, know you’re not completely alone, reach out, and spend so much time showering your mind in God’s Word.