14. How to Protect Your Peace

When the summer ended, I realized a lot of things had to change for John, my husband, and I. We are on a tighter budget, I started three classes, and I upped my internship hours. I was at a family and marriage private practice over the summer and now, for the fall, I started an internship with Wheaton College. I am counseling college students, which is such a fun age group to work with. Anyways, I am working most days from 8 am to 5 pm with a 40 min commute. 

This is so different from working for myself for around ten months. I actually have never worked a 9-5. A 4:45 am to noon job, but never a 9-5 — and this is unpaid. *gulp* This is a transition. I realized the energy I had in the previous months went out the window. This is the most challenging semester of my career so far.

This weekend I had yet again over-committed myself. A month ago this would have been no big deal, I could see friends, get my hair done, and go to an event. Now I am drowning in papers and work that I was not able to finish during the week. And that is where I am at. Apologizing to everyone I committed to, I was able to not feel guilty for saying no. 

I told myself this would be the case. Everyone in my life was aware that this would be a hard semester. I knew this would be here, and yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. I decided my phrase during this season is “I am protecting my peace”. 

Sometimes the reason you cannot weather a storm is that you are stepping into other people’s storms at the same time. When it is a hard season the best thing you can do is protect your peace by using the word no. And remember it is just a season. Usually, hard times pass. The perfect storm of three classes, owning a business, being a pastor’s wife, and starting a 24-hour-a-week internship will pass.

Whatever that storm is for you during this season, I just need you to know that if the people in your life choose not to understand it’s not your responsibility to enter into their storm when they aren’t doing that same thing for you. Those in your support system will understand and will be there when the rain stops. For now, protect your peace.

Theology – Protecting Your Peace According to the Bible. 

There’s two kinds of peace that I think of when I think of peace. One the kind of peace that our soul receives when we accept Christ as our savior. There’s nothing like this kind of peace and rest.  

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.” — Romans 5:1-2

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” — John 14:27

The second kind of peace is what I want to focus on today. If you want to know how to get soul peace listen to episode 10. We talk about the Gospel message together. The second kind of peace I want to touch on is that of living in peace with others and having relational peace. And man I have been on a hunt for this. Protecting your peace looks like this: 

1. Protecting your time so that you are not drained, but able to give back to others because you’re rested. 

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11) — Only God is beyond time.

2. Protecting your emotional energy. I am definitely having to relearn this as I am becoming a counselor. Having clients and knowing that I will have a full day, I have to be prepared. So for you, knowing if someone is a little more of a relationship that takes your energy, maybe you limit time with that person. 

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Spend time with Jesus (Matthew 11:28)

3. Protect your opinions, ideas, and thoughts. If someone isn’t going to give you the respect you need to have an honoring conversation — hold your opinions to yourself. I promise it will be so much better.

“A wise man holds his tongue. Only a fool blurts out everything he knows; that only leads to sorrow and trouble.” (Proverbs 10:14)

4. Don’t pick fights – I had a season in my life where I was going to say what was on my mind and if that meant conflict I was ready for it. But I look back and my heart wasn’t at peace. So just knowing that and asking yourself, what would it look like for me to have some inner peace might be the first place to start.

“Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.” (2 Timothy 2:23-24)

5. Don’t talk negatively about other people. Direct communication is hard but it actually does protect the peace. It is chaos if you’ve got people talking about others in a way that creates divides. This happens in families, churches, small groups, friend groups, and the work place. 

5. Be weary of someone who is dividing people. They may do this chronically in order to control situations and people. People with personality disorders do this a lot. Borderline personality disorder, narcissists, and sociopaths. When this happens it’s really sad because it can be so confusing and damaging if it isn’t called out. 

Here are a few great verses to meditate on about peace

“Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from eviland your lips from telling lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” — Psalm 34:12-14

“When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” — Proverbs 16:7

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” — Hebrews 12:14

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” — Romans 12:17-18

All About Midsize Fashion

On this episode we talk further about the topic of midsize fashion. Do we love it or do we hate it? I would love to know your thoughts. This is a blurb from Today.com ,

The statement ‘I’ve never seen my body type on social media before’ was uttered over and over again by so many until #midsizefashion started popping up more regularly. “One quick scroll through mid-size fashion content and you’ll see this sentiment shared over and over again,” says Sanchez. Gen Z, in particular, has made waves in the body positivity movement by encouraging individuals of all sizes to embrace their bodies. “Because of this, mid-size fashion influencers like Remi Bader have created massive TikTok followings by sharing honest and authentic trying hauls of trendy styles from popular brands, using their platform to prove that size is nothing but a number,”

Today.com

Here’s another article on midsize fashion that I found interesting. I think I feel this way about the fashion industry more than the other quote.

“We know we’re not alone when we say our relationship with fashion is more of a love-hate situation. For example, we love keeping up with trend and putting outfits together. We hate when brands don’t make our size, or make it but only show their clothes on one body type letting the rest of us guess what a garment might look like on someone like us. The lack of representation of different body types has been an issue for a long time, and a slightly less discussed group that’s often left out are folks who might identify as in-betweeners.”

In Style

Mental Health – Protecting your peace by saying no.

Your no is a freeing word. Once you stop being fearful of strings attached when you say no, you can actually have a ton of freedom. 

1. Get used to saying you will think about it before committing.
2. Have a list of priorities and goals. Don’t commit to anything that gets in the way of those two things.
3. Don’t have a long list of why you cannot make it or commit to a plan. Just say, “unfortunately I have plans that day and cannot commit or come”. 
4. Be firm. 
5. Don’t create a list of excuses. 
6. Communicate clearly.

There may be many reasons why you have a hard time saying no. The biggest reason was that you had people in your life that would be upset with you if you said no. Creating a circle of people who are healthy and do not push your boundaries when you say you cannot do something is a great start. 

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