How to Know if Your Relationship is a Red Light

Outfit 1) Red Top  || Cheetah Print Wide Leg Pant ||

Outfit 2) Sweatshirt || Dr. Martens Vegan Boot

Outfit 3) Denim Jacket || Sustainable Denim Pants || Ribbed Turtleneck

How To Know If Your Relationship is A Red Light

From October to February, every year, I would be clenching my fists in the dating relationship I was in at that time. Do you know what I am talking about? Questioning why he didn’t get you flowers. Picking dumb fights just to see if he cares. I never would check his phone… but I would wonder. If you are feeling this way right now in your dating relationship the first thing I want you to know is that it is common. That’s what dating is.

I find how Urban Dictionary defines dating interesting:

 

“Dating is where two people who are attracted to each other spend time together to see if they also can stand to be around each other most of the time, if this is successful they develop a relationship, although sometimes a relationship develops anyways if the people can’t find anybody else to date them, or are very lonely or one person is only attracted to the other and pretends to be in love with the second unfortunate person who has the misunderstanding that they have found love. This occurs quite often and eventully leads to something called cheating.”

 

Kinda depressing right??? Like someone actually thinks dating often leads to cheating…? hhmmm… Well, here’s how to avoid this.

Two things I want to say first:

1) I will be speaking mostly a female audience because this is a fashion blog for women

2) This is my opinion based on my own experiences.

Ok, now that we got this out of the way here are a few signs to end a relationship. You’ve maybe been down this breakup road before or maybe this is the first time you are having doubts about your dating relationship. The biggest thing I want you to know is to date with your eyes wide open. I think when you date you should be critical. Not out loud. But be critical in your heart. You wouldn’t drive down the street with your eyes closed. You’d miss a STOP sign. So don’t drive down dating st. with your eyes closed!!! Here are some directions.

1. Look Both Ways. Check your own motives before you check his. Sometimes us girls, we just want to have a good time. That’s great but when we date to have a good time that relationship is usually not going to end well. Be careful. When I dated “to have a good time” I found guys who didn’t take the relationship seriously too. Two people who don’t really care end up in a careless situation. Acknowledging that this is what your relationship is is the first step. Realizing that it will have to end eventually because you both are not ready for anything serious is the second step. Breaking up before someone does something dumb, like cheating, is the third step.
2. Make Sure to Know the Destination. Do you want a man who is committed? If you don’t we are stuck on the first step. If you do want commitment make sure he’s on the same page. If you want to be married and that is your goal in a dating relationship make sure you are on the same page. John and I knew we wanted to be married and we didn’t waste any time. I think it is very appropriate to talk about future dreams of yours to see if he’s looking at the same map.
3. Avoid Driving Blind. After checking yourself, take a good look at how your man treats you. Really take a good look. Put on your reading glasses and take off your rose-colored sunglasses. What are little ways he shows he cares? When you bring up a suggestion does he change? Is he listening? Guys, if a guy loves you he will bend over backward or fix what you need fixed. If there is conflict in your relationship he will work on it because he can’t stand to be distant from you.
4. Pay Attention to the Signs. Your biggest signs are the people around you. If you are wanting to date seriously pay attention to how the people in your life interact with him. You don’t have to ask what they think. Usually, someone who really cares about you will tell you what they think about the man you are dating. My biggest regret with dating is not listening to my dad. My dad did not like my boyfriends but he immediately loved my husband. phew! haha but I was totally prepared to break up with John Miller if my Dad didn’t like him. Dads are a great sounding board. So are girlfriends. Ladies, listen to your girlfriends, please! They care. If you get defensive they won’t tell you what they actually think in the future and you need those caution signs!
5. Check Your Seat Belt. If you are really having doubts because he isn’t treating you right, put on your seat belt. What I mean is slow the process of breaking up by really communicating what he is doing isn’t right. If he is willing to work on those issues give him a second chance. If you don’t see change get out! But a conversation has to be made before you just dump him. Someone once told me that as slow and cautious as you got into a relationship you should be that slow and cautious to get out. If you jumped into a relationship quickly, you can quickly get out. But if this is a long established relationship be slow to leave.

Ok girl, if this relationship is a red light its ok. Have the painful conversation now before it gets messier. Its never a good time to break up with someone. The longer you are in a relationship that isn’t healthy for you or the other person the harder it is to stop and turn around. You can do it. I’ve been there and am better for it.