Is Your Relationship Moving Too Fast?
Think about the last dating relationship you were in. How did it start?
Right before I met my husband, John Miller, I was in a dating relationship with another guy. That relationship lasted four months. During that time I remember calling my sister and telling her I was starting to feel some extra anxiety about the relationship. She started to ask me a few questions. Basically what we concluded was that I was moving too fast emotionally into this relationship.
Ok, back to you. Have you had that feeling when dating? It is not a fun experience.
There are two ways you can move too quickly in a relationship. I want to be really clear with what I mean. What I am not saying is to take forever getting to know a person and you. have. to. date. for. four. years. I am saying that the emotional part of the relationship has to be aligned with the commitment part of the relationship. Here’s a few questions to ask yourself:
- As you are moving forward are you both talking about the future.
- Are you taking the time to communicate. If this is a new relationship this is the time to work on communicating.
- A healthy amount of disclosure takes time and trust. If you share every part of yourself right away with someone who has not done the same you might be feeling some anxiety. The person you are dating may not be able to open up as easily as you. This is where asking questions can be helpful. Take the time to share the hidden parts of your life with someone you know and trust.
- There is nothing like being intimate and vulnerable with another person. I firmly believe that you can only truly experience this type of trust inside marriage. When you’re intimate with someone without building trust or fully knowing each other, you will feel extra anxiety in the relationship that doesn’t need to be there. So make sure the intimacy in your dating relationship matches up with the amount of commitment and trust.
- Love takes sacrifice. If you’ve said the L word to your significant other but experiencing some anxiety, ask yourself if you’re the only one sacrificing. Many relationships start and continue to grow with only one person sacrificing for the other person. If you’re feeling that way communicating is always a good idea. Don’t stay in a relationship starts out one sided!!! Relationships will go through seasons but in the beginning there should not be someone sacrificing more than the other person.
- If your significant other says a lot of things but doesn’t follow through, this may be a red flag. Talk and no follow through is a bad sign. No wonder you feel anxious!
Again, feeling anxiety or stress in a relationship might mean you are going too fast. Slow down and take the time to communicate. Maybe you need to step back emotionally. It’s ok. Guard your heart and slow down. I hope this helps. HL
Hannah is a radio/podcast host, blogger, and mental health therapist who loves Jesus and fashion. Her work revolves around betrayal trauma and the eldest daughter population.
