Who Defines You?

Who Defines You?


A friend of mine is searching for a job and she told me the feeling is worse than dating. Maybe you know what I am talking about. You go on a first date hoping this is the one (if you are actually looking for a real relationship) and then he doesn’t call you back for three days leaving you feeling restless for 72 hours. Your confidence is shaking. Looking for a new job can feel worse.  You get interviews and then you don’t hear back in weeks. Looking for a new job… Yes, that is worse. This may be because so many times, what we do is what defines us. Honestly, both are so hard to go through. Do you agree? This got me thinking about how you and I may define ourselves by things that come and go, and change. Here are the top three things that I sometimes define myself by.

There are three things that may define you.

  1. What you do, your job/career.

    • Maybe your volunteer work? Are you a creative, a musician? Do you define yourself as an engineer? An artist? – I’ve totally been there. I think often about what would happen if I changed careers.
    • Be careful that you don’t work so hard that you neglect other areas in your life. Remember to check your relationships to make sure your value isn’t found in what you do for other people. – I have burried myself in work and forgotten my friends. One of my girl friends asked me recently, “can you just text me a little more letting me know whats up”.
    • You are not defined by what you do. You have value no matter what job you have.
  2. What you look like… How skinny you are, what kind of clothes you wear.

    • Are you constantly looking for the next beauty treatment? Do you spend most of your money on clothes?
    • Do you watch your weight to an unhealthy amount? Or maybe you just enjoy working out and that is how you define yourself. The girl who is an athlete.
    • Self-talk is so important. Tell yourself you are beautiful no matter what. Your appearance will change, but you will always still be you and confidence is key. If your identity is in something as shallow as your outward appearance it is hard to grab onto who you really are.
  3. What others think of you.

    • This is dangerous because people change their minds ALL the time. Friends come and go. So if you are defined by the people you are with or what the person you are dating thinks of you, you’ll find yourself feeling lost and unsure of yourself.
    • When you stop defining yourself by who others want you to be you’ll have so much freedom to just be you!

Girl, I am right there with you. It is so easy for me to define myself as the “radio sound engineer” or the “fashion blogger”. I love knowing that people like me too. there’s nothing wrong with that, but its when we define our entire selves by one title. We are complicated humans, not meant to be put into small boxes.

I think that helps me is my relationship with Jesus. I believe in a God who created me and loves me no matter what. I have found it makes so much more sense to be defined by something that will never change than being defined by myself who is constantly growing, changing and moving. I have found so much freedom in defining myself by a definition that will never change.

Photos edited and taken by me.

Outfit INSPO below

My jacket was thrifted and I spray painted it same with my skirt.

Hannah Lynn Miller
Hannah Lynn Miller

Hannah is a radio/podcast host, blogger, and mental health therapist who loves Jesus and fashion. Her work revolves around betrayal trauma and the eldest daughter population.

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